Day #38 - Hissy Fits and Card Games

Sarasota FL

This morning, I had one of my hissy fits about projects being undone.  I scrubbed some cabinets in the garage while Kelly installed a rod in a closet.  It gave me a chance to work off some steam and a way for her to put some physical space between us until I cooled down.  Then we worked together to clean off a book case, storing books and magazines she had collected over the summer in the newly cleaned cabinet.

We had dinner with Gary and taught him how to play a card game called Hand and Foot.  Well, we taught him the rules, then we all experimented to figure out the best way to modify the game for three players.  It’s usually played with two teams of two players each.  He’s an excellent card player and was instrumental in helping us figure out the puzzle of three players.  By the third hand, Kelly and I had fallen far behind.  He’s wicked good.  Someday, we hope to see Lori and Gary play against one another.  We could sell tickets.

Day #37 - New Year's Day

Sarasota FL

Today, we took Pat with us to see the movie “Did You Hear about the Morgans?”  It was cute, but no surprises.

Pat has taken in a roommate – a personal trainer and life coach named Anthony.  He insists that she eat a vegan diet, with raw foods only.  She really enjoyed eating a soft pretzel at the movies.

Later, Kelly and I went over to Barb and Brenda’s house.  We shared dinner with them, and four other women.  We ate pork Brenda had roasted with aromatic herbs, sauerkraut baked with a bit of brown sugar, black eyed peas cooked with onions and spices, and rolls with butter.  Her dinner was so good - one of those times when conversation ceases until plates are empty.  My father taught me that eating pork and kraut on New Year’s Day ensured luck throughout the coming year.  It was comforting, in this physical and spiritual place of semi-chaos, to eat familiar and lucky foods.  Dessert, by the way, was vanilla ice cream with bits of red and green mint candies in it – a tradition from Barb’s family.

The holidays are filled with traditions, old and new.  Each of us comes to new friends with our old traditions, while making some space for the new traditions.  Sue gave us some cookies that may not have been part of my heritage, but cookies seem to be pretty universal at this time of year.  My dad never put brown sugar in his kraut (He preferred carrots and caraway seed.), but it meant so much to me to eat kraut today.  I enjoyed hearing Barb’s story of the special holiday ice cream and felt comforted by our connections.

Kelly and I hope the new year will bring all of you health and happiness.  We hope to stay connected to our friends and family while we make new friend across the country.

Day #36 - New Year's Eve

Sarasota FL

Here it is – New Year’s Eve.  Being newly retired, I’m feeling a bit untethered.  Usually, if I was lucky, I would take vacation at the end of the year.  I liked being out of the office from Christmas through the year’s end.  Then, I’d trudge back to work, with my head down and my blinders on, determined to work and slog my way through at least three months without a vacation or sick day.  It was my way of getting through the hardest part of the year.   It feels strange this year – no long vacation to anticipate, and now, no three months of slogging with my head down and shoulder to the wheel.  Also a bit weird to be in cold, rainy, icy Florida.

Pat invited us to the New Year’s Eve party at her senior center.  We got as dressed up as we could and went off to make her proud.  The senior center in Sarasota (http://www.friendshipcenters.org/) is a complex of buildings, housing many services for older citizens.  I thought the social center was beautiful.  The big French doors opened up to a welcoming area.  There was a wood dance floor, lots of small tables and chairs, plus a grand piano, some serious speakers, and space for a full band.  Hinged screens, housing the work of a local artist, made a partial wall between this public area and several pool tables.  This first floor area was open to the ceiling – large and grand, light and airy.  There were classrooms around the three outside walls.  Plus, the “loft” showed more classrooms. 

Everyone was dressed for the occasion.  One woman wore a beautiful black sequined dress with beaded fringe at the sleeves and hem.  It was obvious that everyone had pulled out their best formal wear for this dance.  A woman played piano and sang while a gentleman played the drums.  Their performance was proof that our musical talents only gain depth and richness as we age.  It was a joy to hear them perform and I could have listened to them all afternoon.  Many of us wore festive tiaras and carried noisemakers.  Pat introduced me as her daughter-in-law.  Kelly and I danced the last dance, a slow one, together.   Some of the staff were aghast, but the party-goers took it in stride.

The party ended around 3:00 PM.  We said our goodbyes and headed for Siesta Key to kayak.  Today was the first sunny warm day in ages, so we wanted to get on the water.  We encountered two problems that really stopped us in our tracks.  Everybody wanted to be on the water, so there were no parking places at the Siesta Key put-in spot.  Not a big deal – we just headed off to find another spot.  As soon as we got out of the truck, the wind hit us.  While we were looking for a spot to park and unload the boats, big dark clouds had rolled in and the wind had picked up.  It was no longer a nice day.  If we had had skirts and dry-shirts (high-tech waterproof/windproof shirts), I think we would have tried it.  But, it just wasn’t fun or safe in shorts and t-shirts.

Instead of kayaking, we drove around the area, researching viable spots for future trips.  The spots along salt water are pretty easy to find, but good ones in brackish or fresh water are a bit more challenging.  We have to find places where we can park legally, carry the boats only a short distance, and where Kelly won’t see an alligator.  Not much luck with this either, but we had a nice drive in the rain.

We stayed at the house that evening.  We played FarmVille with all our other home-body “neighbors”, watched Dick Clark do a great job in New York City, and were glad that, this year, we didn’t have to protect any animals from loud noises.

Day #34 - Beach Therapy

Sarasota, Florida

We are still trying to take charge of our lives while staying with my mom. The thing is, she isn’t asking for anything. It’s just that there is such a negative energy around her that we allow ourselves to get sucked into the drama. Today, to avoid the suckage, we ran away to the movies. We saw “Blind Side” starring Sandra Bullock. It was an awesome film and I recommend you see it – just don’t expect it to cure anything you were avoiding dealing with because it won’t. No, rest assured all that crap will be waiting for you when the movie is over.

One of the underlying things bugging us (Suzie mostly) is that we aren’t any closer to getting things organized and ready to put back in the trailer than the day we got here. She was pretty upset about all the time we are “wasting”. I didn’t realize we were on a schedule, and I was pretty hurt about the “wasting time” comment. We needed to talk, so we drove out to Bradenton Beach to eat at the Café and gaze at the Gulf.

It was a good plan. The food was pretty good and the view was awesome. We had a chance talk just vent about all the stuff bugging us. We left with a list of tasks we’d like to accomplish and some sense of each other’s expectations. I recommend therapy at the beach anytime.

Day #33 – Expenses and Mileage

Sarasota FL

In October 2009, we decided to track every penny we spent.  We started putting notes in a little notebook and accumulating a stack of receipts.  We knew there would be a lot of unknowns on this trip and money was one of the biggies - could we really afford to do this?  I had done some what-if analysis last winter, but neither of us was sure what this would really cost.  I started posting our expenses to a spreadsheet in November, but had gotten behind.

Today, I posted our expenses, up to today.  I split the month of December into two portions, showing the camping days separate from the days we’ve stayed at Pat’s house.  Kelly thought we’d save a lot of money by staying here, but it wasn’t the case.  It appeared the money we saved in camping we lost in eating out.  I also started a spreadsheet to log our mileage and gasoline costs.  Our mileage is clearly affected by geography and whether we’re towing. 

As soon as I figure out the technical issues, I’ll post these spreadsheets.  I’ve always held finances pretty close to my chest, but I’ll make this public so you can see what’s involved.  Several folks have said they intend to take a trip like ours and have wondered about the costs.  When I’m ready, I’ll dedicate a blog entry to a discussion of expenses.

Today, Kelly worked on transferring her family’s movies to DVD for archiving.  It’s a slow frustrating process.  Since it’s been hanging over our heads for years, I’ve asked her to finish the project before we go back on the road.

It was a slow day on the farm.  Kind of a bummer.  All our “neighbors” went back to work.  Either some of my retired friends need to start playing this game, or I need a new addiction.

Later, we had dinner with Gary.  I turned Gary and Kelly on to Torchwood.  The second season, where we began watching, starts with a bang, so they both enjoyed it.  Torchwood (http://www.bbcamerica.com/content/262/index.jsp) is a British science fiction TV show, a spin-off of the new Dr. Who series.  It takes place in Cardiff, where there’s a rift in time and space.  There are two women who really kick ass and some gay love happening, too.  The evening was filled with good food, good company, and two more dogs to love.

Day #32 – Christmas Dinner with Friends

Sarasota FL

Today was a quiet, relatively peaceful day.  Pat went to church in the morning and a dance in the afternoon.  I cooked the scallops Kelly had found at yesterday’s farmers’ market.  We both played too much FarmVille.  We went to Mary and Sue’s house for Christmas dinner – late because Mary had been ill.  The Steelers won; the food was wonderful; there were four dogs who needed lots of ear-rubs.  It was a good day.